The best stories have endings we only wish our lives could experience.

Ah, the holidays. While most are either ecstatic about or bemoaning the time with or without families, I am currently neither. Granted, I am pumped to be home -- absolutely PUMPED. But like I've had to tell people at work time and time again, I don't really know where I'm from anymore. Even while lazing in this chair I've sat in for years (except when Mom, glasses perched at the end of her nose, relaxes in this same chair while examining the newspaper every Sunday morning that I can remember), sipping my amazing hot tottie and seeking my next adventure, I am simply bothered by the fact that I can't choose or feel a home. It's the most unnatural feeling in the world. I suppose that's a downside for travel for me -- I have certain people, places, memories that I love, but little feeling of permanence. Nothing feels settled, and while in the long run it's probably a good and necessary feeling, currently I just want to get up, go out, and get busy. Funny that while I feel this now, all I'll want when I'm back in Seattle is to get back to my parents to make sure they're doing alright and to my friends to ensure I haven't completely lost all sanity or social capability.

I feel so grateful and lucky that I have such amazing, fascinating people in my life that I always have something to look forward to when I decide to return from my travels. But I suppose I always want what I absolutely cannot have -- for the current moment, at least.

For instance, all I wanted today was to go to Denny Way on Capitol Hill and sled in joy at the snow that's lasted in Seattle for a week (a week?!). This is especially odd since I went to Seattle specifically for the MILD weather. Naturally, once I get there, the snowstorm of the decade hits, and I feel like I'm missing out while back South. But I was lucky to get out while I could! The snow absolutely shut Seattle down -- and I got two glorious days off of work due to it. All the arterial streets were covered, and by 9:00 AM on the first day I was out to observe the snow-covered damage. The winter weather didn't even deter some bikers, but it made it impossible for any buses near my area to run. Being detached from the world is great fun for a while -- you get to turn off the work phone, dance in the snow, huddle under warm blankets trying to warm up from said dancing in the snow, fix hearty, heavy foods, and have an excuse to be lazy -- until you have a plane to catch. My flight was too early to catch a bus to Seatac from downtown (not like it mattered, as the buses TO downtown from my house weren't running anyways), and the taxis weren't taking any reservations or promises to make it down the hill to my house. On top of that, most limo services were booked up. After calls to about 10 different limo companies, I finally found one that could pick me up at 4:00 AM and get me to Seatac in time for my 6:00 AM flight for $75 bucks. A low price, considering I would have had to drive otherwise and paid for parking, assuming I got to the airport safely. Everything at the airport went off without a hitch, though I can't say the same for many of my other Seattle friends. Kerry was scheduled to get to Boston on a red-eye Friday night, and didn't end up arriving until Monday due to bad weather alternating in Seattle and Boston. I guess living in the South is a blessing this Christmas!

Lexington has changed, and people have changed, but in good ways. I was giddy and acting as ridiculous as a tween on the midnight premiere of Twilight once I got to see old friends. I'm sure I hugged too hard and maybe awkwardly too long for some (and I would hug in the same manner if I had to relive those hugs!), but it was such a relief -- and so AWESOME -- to see fun, familiar faces. The typical activities ensued -- random gossip, beer drinking, song-singing, Rock Band, inside jokes, testing to see if our humors still match -- and laughing in relief when they do. A huge part of me wants to be back in Lexington NOW, while most everyone I love is still there. If something leads me back there, I know I will have no qualms returning. In this depressingly realistic moment, however, I realize there are few real options for me in the town I've come to love most.

My tenure in my current job is up in 6 months, and as such I am looking for options. I know I'm not quite ready to go back to school, though in the plan in my head it will definitely happen next year. I'm too scared to write about "the plan" here because 1) it makes it real and 2) said plan will feel too immovable. I guess there is a part of me that still likes that impermanence...

For now, I will continue to not-so-sneakily steal Dad's homemade sugar cookie dough and consider the possibilities. I also wouldn't be surprised if I took a late night walk around my old hood. That's the other joy of living in the South -- seeming safety.